UPD Bytes for the April 28 issue
Thursday, April 22
9:29 a.m.
UPD cited a driver at LK Wood and Sunset Boulevard for lack of registration and a seatbelt. Thus, a driver was served a ticket for a failure to click it. Oh, and for the registration thing.
11:03 a.m.
UPD cited another driver for a seatbelt violation. Apparently, velcro clothing and fuzzy seats do not cut it in this state.
4:47 p.m.
UPD cited a bicyclist for failing to stop at the stop sign at 17th and B Street. Typically, large white letters that read STOP are not merely a suggestion.
10:14 p.m.
A large group of people playing a game similar to capture the flag caught UPD's attention because they were apparently blocking traffic. UPD told them to move the game elsewhere before capture the flag turned into dodge-the-car or call-the-paramedics.
Friday, April 23
7:17 p.m.
12:22 a.m.
UPD received a call about a transient stealing recyclables in the art quad. The transient had vanished when UPD arrived. We can only assume that whatever recyclables were stolen were still recycled, and the earth will live on another day.
2:54 p.m.
UPD arrested a woman near the parking booth for public intoxication. Now, drinking in public is a stupid idea, but drinking in public ... in broad daylight ... in front of the parking booth ... that's 100 feet from the police station.7:17 p.m.
Two juveniles near the student recreation center stacked tables into makeshift skateboard jumps. When UPD confronted them, the juveniles were told that there was this nifty place called a skate park in town, a mere two blocks from the stacked tables. When they said it was too far to walk, UPD reminded them that they had a set of wheels.
Saturday, April 24
UPD reported that the ATM just off the quad was vandalized. Now where are we going to get our last minute beer money?
12:52 p.m.
Another "transient male" was spotted in the act of "possibly stealing recyclables." UPD arrived to possibly scare the fellow away, but he vanished before they could possibly do anything to stop him. We possibly have the most eco-friendly transients in the world.
7:05 p.m.UPD reported that the ATM just off the quad was vandalized. Now where are we going to get our last minute beer money?
Sunday, April 25
1:54 p.m.
10:57 p.m.
11:56 p.m.
2:00 a.m.
UPD responded to housing's call that an underage dorm resident was intoxicated. They detained the student, but before UPD could get there, the student escaped. Officers would later suspect that the student had probably smuggled the alcohol from the seminar tought by Harry Houdini.
1:54 p.m.
UPD stopped a driver on H and 7th Street for expired registration. They sent the motorist to the most horrific place imaginable: the Department of Motor Vehicles.
10:57 p.m.
A custodial staff person called UPD informing them that a "transient" was asleep in the library stairwell. The "transient" was then "chased off" by the custodial staff before UPD got there. You don't mess with a library staff person brandishing a mop.
11:56 p.m.
UPD cited two students for possession of an open alcohol container in the vicinity of the ceramics lab. Apparently, if you want to drink on campus, you have to do it without opening the bottle. Good luck.
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