UPD BYTES 3/3/2010

Thursday, Feb. 25

1:00 a.m.
UPD responded to a safety escort from Science D. You never know what might be lurking in Science D late at night...

12:29 p.m.
UPD removed a boot from a vehicle on B Street when they discovered that the car had no feet and, therefore, did not need shoes.

3:46 p.m.
UPD took information regarding ongoing drug violations from a single dorm room. We are not sure what kind of drugs, and we are not sure what kind of violations; however, we do know that any kind of mass drug operation does not belong in a dormitory. That is why abandoned warehouses and seedy back alleys were invented.

10:57 p.m.
The burglar alarm at the Student Recreation Center tipped off UPD that a crime was afoot. UPD arrived to find nothing amiss. Perhaps, it was only the ghost of health nuts past.
Friday, Feb. 26

3:34 a.m.
UPD received a call from an out-of-town parent asking UPD to check on the welfare of his or her child. The student was deemed fine by UPD, and the parent was told that the child was fine. Don't get any ideas, Mom.

9:39 a.m.
UPD cited a man at the Natural History Museum for possession of marijuana. Marijuana may be illegal, but the real crime here is not learning your natural history. And, we all know that those of us who forget our natural history are doomed to repeat it.

3:37 p.m.
UPD arrested a man in Arcata for possession of an outstanding arrest warrant. Had it been an in-sitting arrest warrant, he might still be free today.

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