2008 Woodie Awards
What can Craigslist do for you?
Crystal Muzik
Issue date: 4/2/08 Section: Opinion
Are you tired with your current life? Start a whole new one the easy way-with the help of Craig's List. It really is the whole package deal. Not only can you find a ride with a stranger to your new destination, you can meet a new boyfriend/girlfriend, or have a new favorite casual encounter! Find that dream house to share with even more strangers, and buy some used goods while you're at it. Oh yeah, I even have become financially independent with Craig's help. I just answer the door in my pajamas and collect envelopes and boxes full of CASH! Seriously…Anyways, some good recent postings to help you make it through the day:
-Part time ninja needed:
Please send headshot/resume. Any video would be helpful as well. Sincerely, doobra kai dojo
-m4w: I'm your average jerk looking for a mate. I want: comfortable with herself, smokes, drinks, hates pickles and mustard.
-I can't believe I ate ants for you - w4m:
When you had a small group over for bbq at your place I pretended I didn't notice the tortilla chips had ants all over them and ate them anyway. I didn't want to cause a scene in front of your friends and make them question the sanitary quality of the food they were about to eat. Now that I have gotten absolutely nowhere with you I deeply regret this decision.
-Spaceship For Sale:
This space ship is in excellent condition! Only 300 million Intergalactic miles, 4 passenger, no meteor dents, possibly needs reactor seals and recharged flux capacitor, 1 owner. Still have the original owners manual. Does have a wobble issue at Mach 12 but clears once it hits 15 not sure what that is but I lose the GPS screen for about a minute or so. Complete with bubble glass windows! Never crashed! For sale $3500 OBO. Clear title in hand, cash sale only, no trades and I won't take payments. Once it leaves the earth, I know you are not coming back so why would I??? DUH! It needs some TLC like an alignment and new landing sensors. Stored in a secure warehouse in Phx. Must sell City of Phx pressuring me, they say it's an eye sore?? It's on my front lawn and it's burnt the grass last year when it was running, I have the re entry burners turned up to kill the termites and scorpions when landing.
-Part time ninja needed:
Please send headshot/resume. Any video would be helpful as well. Sincerely, doobra kai dojo
-m4w: I'm your average jerk looking for a mate. I want: comfortable with herself, smokes, drinks, hates pickles and mustard.
-I can't believe I ate ants for you - w4m:
When you had a small group over for bbq at your place I pretended I didn't notice the tortilla chips had ants all over them and ate them anyway. I didn't want to cause a scene in front of your friends and make them question the sanitary quality of the food they were about to eat. Now that I have gotten absolutely nowhere with you I deeply regret this decision.
-Spaceship For Sale:
This space ship is in excellent condition! Only 300 million Intergalactic miles, 4 passenger, no meteor dents, possibly needs reactor seals and recharged flux capacitor, 1 owner. Still have the original owners manual. Does have a wobble issue at Mach 12 but clears once it hits 15 not sure what that is but I lose the GPS screen for about a minute or so. Complete with bubble glass windows! Never crashed! For sale $3500 OBO. Clear title in hand, cash sale only, no trades and I won't take payments. Once it leaves the earth, I know you are not coming back so why would I??? DUH! It needs some TLC like an alignment and new landing sensors. Stored in a secure warehouse in Phx. Must sell City of Phx pressuring me, they say it's an eye sore?? It's on my front lawn and it's burnt the grass last year when it was running, I have the re entry burners turned up to kill the termites and scorpions when landing.
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Master Cleanse
posted 4/03/08 @ 10:52 PM PST
Did you become financially independent from selling stuff you no longer needed? It is a great place to sells things locally.
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